GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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I think I shit myself

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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jack sanders

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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