-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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