ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

thumb_up thumb_down +51

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

thumb_up thumb_down +84

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you met Ted?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!