-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!