Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

Walking to your car alone later?

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!