I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

"Don't scream"

Walking to your car alone later?

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

I have no gag reflex.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!