- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

You look... clean

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

I have no gag reflex.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Walking to your car alone later?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book