-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Walking to your car alone later?

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!