I have no gag reflex.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

"Don't scream"

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

You look... clean

Your body would look good in my trunk.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Walking to your car alone later?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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