-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

You look... clean

"Don't scream"

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

I have no gag reflex.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

you actually look alright with the lights on.

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!