Walking to your car alone later?

You look... clean

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!