Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

You look... clean

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!