-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

You look... clean

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

Walking to your car alone later?

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

I have no gag reflex.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!