- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Walking to your car alone later?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

You look... clean

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!