Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!