Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

You look... clean

Your body would look good in my trunk.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!