-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

You look... clean

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!