-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

You look... clean

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Walking to your car alone later?

I have no gag reflex.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!