-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Walking to your car alone later?

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

You look... clean

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

you actually look alright with the lights on.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!