- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

You look... clean

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

I have no gag reflex.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

you actually look alright with the lights on.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Walking to your car alone later?

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book