Want to go out? No

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!