Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Welcome to DIE!

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!