Wanna have sex?

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Sex?

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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I've got candy.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!