You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

thumb_up thumb_down -43

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Happy BirthdaySean!

thumb_up thumb_down +185

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Stop Footing Around

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

thumb_up thumb_down +197

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

thumb_up thumb_down +77

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

thumb_up thumb_down +116

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +88

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!