Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Wanna have sex?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!