"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Wanna have sex?

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Sex?

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!