Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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I have a gun.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!