"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +74

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

thumb_up thumb_down -49

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down -98

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -122

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +137

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +88

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +89

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

thumb_up thumb_down +192

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +177

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!