- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

Get in the van.

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

EVERYONE ELSE

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!