Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Golf.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!