Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Want to go out? No

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Sex?

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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