Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +155

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

fancy going halves on a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +180

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

sex me.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -82

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!