I have a gun.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Yeah... you'll have to do.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Golf.

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!