-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +126

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

my dick is 2 inches

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +113

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Male: Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +146

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +157

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!