#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

Im gonna rape you..

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

Get in the van.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

why are you you touching me ????

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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