- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Soon

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

-I love you.

How much do you like peanut butter?

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book