—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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greetings clarisse...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Lesbihonest

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!