can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Hello children! :D

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Male: Get in the van.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!