You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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greetings clarisse...

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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- You look really nice - I know

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Welcome to DIE!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!