Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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nice kid... want another?

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!