He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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