M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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