- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book