Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!