- Anti-Pickup Line

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

Lol, waifu and Rebecca are like "do you have to type so much? Come back prince charming... ...I Am all NO! AND CALL ME MASTER BISON. SO ANYWAY SHORT coMMENT SEE? I DONT HAVE TO TYPE AS MUCH! AND NOW THAT THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING BECAUSE OF MY SHEET HERE I JUST KEEP TYPING YOU KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE HANGING OVER ME AND I CANT MOVE.:: GIrls read this: (not you ladies not yet, I am talking about my gals here) IF YOU WANT ME TO JOIN YOU, MOVE THE FUCK OVER TO EACH OF YOUR SIDES, SO I CAN GET UP, YOU CAN SQUEEZE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER SO I CAN DO YOU BOTH. Lol Rebecca is all like "He is not really posting that stuff right? "Hey Nero you are not going to post that stuff are you? Lol Harris, does your sister know me again? Ps: Dont worry folks, I mean Harris is like my bro from another ho, seriously, I bang his sister, he goes like "THERE IS A GOOD CATCH SON!" And kept giving me the thumbs ups when she liked Anal too much and could not sit. ANYWAYSSSSSSS SHORT COMMENT GET! (Sorry id type more, but I think my dick is alive again... IT MUST DROWN IN THE JUICES OF WITCHES OF ENCHANT! "I wont post this Rebecca? Lol, you know why I do not care about their opinion Rebecca lady" BECAUSE I AM AWESOME, AND THEY ARE NOOOOOOOOOOT! Oh you do not want your bro to know... Rebbeca chan... Your bro just sent me a thumbs ups and "take good care of her bro" Yeah let me put this incredibly good laptop away and show you. Ps: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

greetings clarisse...

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Penis. I got it

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!