Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Do you live around here often?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!