- Anti-Pickup Line

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

Business Y U No Advertise?

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean blush really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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