Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!