You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!