Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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I hate you already.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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