How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

your boobs are bigger than my nose

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!