Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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You smell just like my mom...

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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