"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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