Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!