Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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I hate you already.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!