-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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adam burdass

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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