Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

thumb_up thumb_down -70

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +193

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

thumb_up thumb_down +181

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +136

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!