-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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You allergic to semen?

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!