Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!