- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!