-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey, you want a ride?

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!