Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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You smell just like my mom...

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!