-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!