-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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adam burdass

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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