Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Sugar-free sugar cookies

You smell just like my mom...

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Stable relationships are for horses.

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!