One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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adam burdass

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You allergic to semen?

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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